* You Are My Sunshine *

Everyone has a story

A story about their own crush...

A story about their own childhood...

A story about their mystery selves that yet to be discovered...

Today I'm going to share my story. 

In the year 2019,  I am a 20-year-old girl living in a small yet cosy house with my family. 

There's something I have to admit 

All of my close friends knew that 

Every few months I would share with them a  new guy that I liked or admired

and of course, I would start my little move  

I knew it was such playgirl perhaps. 

However, people that I truly loved and kept inside my heart

There were only three of them until now. 

The first one was my high school senior which was also a talented one. 

The feeling of love lasted for three years even after he graduated.

I never told him anything about it but I just sent a very long message to tell him that I was grateful to be taught and to be led by him throughout so many years. 

Until today, listening to his news is still kind of hurting me in some way as he is still kept inside my heart as a small piece of my life. 

The second one was a friend whom we often flirt each other but no real love inside maybe. 

I couldn't tell if we were in love with each other, 

but what I could tell is that we cherish this friendship.

I have still missed him sometimes but not the kind of real relationship love but friendship love. 

Finally, come to the last one which I truly admired and loved and wish to be together forever. 

I met him in a committee camp which organized by our club. 

I always find this interesting that although we come from different cities and different university, 

We can also meet each other on this special occasion and connect to each other spiritually. 

We were distributed to the same group in the very beginning.

At first, we didn't really know each other until the last night of the camp. 

I just felt like we have known each other for a really long time.  

Everything has just flow very naturally that we didn't even take a single minute to communicate

Throughout the camp, what I found on him was the glorious light that shines on him. 

He is friendly, he is kind, he is caring, he is a leader and he is exactly the one that appeared in my mind for years.   

I felt like he is just the one that I have been waiting for years. 

The feeling that I possessed, I couldn't express it through words. 

Although he is not the smartest one, not the most handsome one 

But he is the only one who can melt my heart and own a beautiful and sweet smile. 

Everyday I can only fall asleep after listening to your "goodnight" recording. 

With your voice, I felt calm and excited. 

I cried when you ignored me or even replying very late. 

I cried even more and started to drink alcohol when we completely didn't cut loose. 

I just didn't want it to end. 

I thought we have the same feeling to each other but maybe not. 

You are the one who knows exactly what you are doing

If you didn't make any move maybe is simply because you are not in love with me. 

People said that it could be shy but I know you. 

However, you know what, I am still holding the beliefs and waiting for you. 
You are all I have wanted for and I believed that we are still connected in some sense. 

I love you KZ
God knows how strongly that I wanted you to see this, my love. 

How are you? 

I will never get used to it

I feel like I'm having a suck life now...

Life without purpose

Life without knowing what's going to happen

Life without doing the right things

Maybe that's the time I begin to drown 

Drown in my dramas, movies, foods

Drama is my only and favorite entertainment ever

Why do I so obsess about it?

Drama is all about stories of the others

We watch others' life because we don't have one

Why don't we create a whole new life ourselves ?

We can create what we want 

what can bring us happiness

We should stop chasing others story but create a meaningful life ourselves

No one can help us with anything but ourselves

this is not just an old saying but a god advice for those who are not giving the real effort to their life

Life isn't as easy as we seen, it is also not as complicated as we think

We just need to keep moving on until we reach our path

FOLLOW YOUR HEART

your heart will lead u to do anything 

Follow your mind

no one can really control you, remember that

Learn as more as you can 

that's because we don't know what other is capable of 

People are hiding their talent to protect themselves and as a weapon in their future

Why Don't We create weapon for ourselves?

We can be a better person once we know our destiny

That's what I keep telling myself

So you should star dreaming in order to get a good life like the others.

a Good Drinker or a Good Smoker?

Which one do you prefer the most? a Good Drinker or a Good Smoker?
For me, nor good drinker neither good smoker I like.
If it's necessary need to choose one,  Good drinker is better than a good smoker.
If it's possible, I won't let any smoke appear in my life.
Since we're living in an environment which fulfils with smokes
they're dangerous and poison 

they're not good for our health
It is good to ignore it, reject it rather than accept it and living with it
it's ok sometimes we confuse to accept anything or not
it's ok to have our own choices 
it's ok if you really want or it's necessary for you to smoke
In my opinion, I'm just thinking that We should choose what really good for us
We don't like when somebody controls our life or keep giving any unuseful suggestions
Because we know what's we really need.
In this condition, I don't think those smoker or drinker are thinking straight of what are they doing.
They might just be confused... hesitated... lonely
They might just need something to distract them from unhappiness,sadness, and sorrow
They might just need something to heal...
Before we do something, Ask yourself : Is It necessary? 

I like Lee Jong Suk <3
He is tall, handsome, white, generous and kind.
He is always my favourite type of man who I wanted to be with
since he has a bad habit of smoke, as A smoker hater, it makes me hesitate.
Maybe If he can change, I will chase him no matter what it takes.
Saranghae.

How did I end up?

How did I end up the story?
This is what you've been asking all the time...
Life- Is a non-end story
If we end it up like just a normal story
We might get stress out or unhappy
because you're not satisfied with your own life
In drama or movies, There are a lot of stories that won't happen on the earth
People created it for thrilling for fun for their own good.
People always create what they will not be able to do or to have
in order to create a little good  imagination how a good life will be
In that kind of love story or thrilling story...people are not going in a smooth way too
That's because people want to let audience know that
We can have a good and successful life once we go through a difficult way
or you can say an uneasy path
that's happening  to everyone because that is so-called LIFE
I hate life
but that's because I yet haven't try
I want to know whether we can just sit there and do nothing and get what I one
I turn out that I'm going to fail in this path that I created on myself
The truth is If One hasn't tried, we will not know what's in front of us
so
as a normal girl
I dreamed of becoming an unordinary girl
I believed I AM SOMEBODY
yes
I believed I will success
Because I know
one day everyone will just regret what they had done to me
One  day I- WILL- PROVE IT

Hope you enjoy ur life

Hopefully, everyone has their own scenario about their future life. 
It's totally good when one have those thoughts in own mind, really. 
We all may have no idea what'll going on tomorrow, maybe we get a car crashed, 
an earthquake, attend a wedding dinner, drinking a glass of wine, 
fall in love with someone, 
who knows? We all just have one great and same purpose on life, 
that's survive and live happily with our important soul mate or even family.
 We do not have much time to think about what are we exactly going to do the next, 
but however we do know how to complete our days with the greatest feelings. 
We may not share the same religions, same characters, same wealthy or healthy, 
we can have same attitude in our life. Be positive. Be enthusiastic. Be optimistic. 
Become the one who you want to be! 
That's the most important part in the future and for now! 
Don't wait until the last day, minute, or second. 
No one will just wait there and be with you whenever you want to. 
Your family, your friends will not be able to be with you the whole life, 
because when the end of the day come, 
everything will just simply disappear secretly without announcing, you know it right? 
I bet you knew it. Hang in there.
 In every ten seconds, there may have someone suffering over the world. 
Everyone's enduring their own burdens whether it's how big or small. 
Don't be afraid of the lonely way. 
The reason is everyone walk through this way to success,
 of course, it's the only way.

*改变自己吧*

我一直都相信“天下没有白吃的午餐 天上没有永远的彩虹” 
这世界任何一样东西或事情是会因为自己而静止抑或前进
能改变的唯有自己!
在这几个月里，募然回首才发现原来自己已经离目标愈来愈远
当每个人都迎着头向前方的路驶去时，自己却还停留在原地
甚至害怕得无法控制脚步地退后

我真的非常不解>>>>> 改变真的那么难？！
我害怕改变不是因为自己没有能力，而是没有毅力且畏惧别人的眼光
“改变”是一个绝对艰辛的路程，每个人都期望和被期望自己能改变
但往往绝大多数人都由于自个儿的心理障碍、一大堆可以让自己好过的借口和不坚持，
而选择了停在半路，更甚者只停留在始端
我呢？ 在半路前徘徊呀...

李兆铭，我三年的班长，也是曾经的挚友
他拥有一颗善良的心
看着这几年的他的成长，真的很为他高兴
由于嫉妒心理，有时虽然很欣赏他，但我却被心中的的小人压抑着自己，
从来不打从心底赞赏这个人或是认同他
他在几个月内学会如何变得幽默风趣、关心别人
也充分应用“甘愿做，欢喜受”之理，所以几乎每天都有好几个同学问功课
很抱歉，请原谅我从不当面的赞赏，请原谅我每次不经意的脾气和不好的语气，
不管你以后会不会看到这篇文章，请记得你永远是我的好班长，也是我的缘分良伴

从你身上我渐渐察觉那股神奇的力量让我想与你一同角逐那一个个的奖项与荣耀，
我答应了自己与守护在我身边的天使，在12月时会出现一个崭新的我！
好吧！ 婉仪啊！ 加油哦！你是一定行的！

. Care. Love

<San Andreas> is really freaking me out! 

I am very sure it's a good movie and better than <2012>.

I think we should be grateful for living in a country without any natural disaster.

We should be grateful to everything we have had in our life although it's not perfect.

[ Thing can't be perfect unless we make it ] 

We have lost a lot of interest things in life, we even don't cherish our friends and families.

We both have no idea when we are going to die,  if we haven't Wake Up, we are going to lose more!

We can't wait for the next minute, we have to stay strong and be ourselves 

and not repeating others' life!

If We are not fighting for ourselves [ NO One Will ! ]

[ Cherish- Though- Grateful- Faithful- Strong- Loving- Caring- No Regret- Move On Now ]